


Angsty Homosensuals

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone is Queer, Multi, Social Media AU, i cant tag, im unoriginal but i love these fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-12-11 06:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: izzy exposes alec as a little spoon and things go from there. social media au without any of the valentine/sebastian/war mess but everyone is still supernatural.





	1. Alec Lightwood: A Known Little Spoon

isabellelightwood sent a photo to claryfray, simonlews and jacelightwood

isabellelightwood: omg guys

isabellelightwood: ALEC IS A LITTLE SPOON

claryfray: NFJHFDJF

claryfray: MALEC IS MY OTP

jacelightwood: of course he’s a little spoon have you met alec hes the softest to ever soft

isabellelightwood: ok true but STILL

simonlewis: whats a malec

isabellelightwood: what do you mean what’s a malec

isabellelightwood: jace are you really dating this FOOL

jacelightwood: I ask myself the same thing all too often

simonlewis: I cant believe the disrespect

claryfray: wait izzy how did you even get that photo

isabellelightwood: um

isabellelightwood: I may have snuck into their apartment

jacelightwood: mood

simonlewis: im so lost

jacelightwood: mood

claryfray: fuck off jace

isabellelightwood: ya fuck off jace

simonlewis: fuck off jace

jacelightwood: mood

claryfray: jace,,,

claryfray: if you say mood one more time im adding magnus and alec to the convo

isabellelightwood: NO PLS

isabellelightwood: CLARY IF YOU LOVE ME AT ALL DON’T DOTHIS

claryfray: relax iz this isn’t a romance drama

simonlewis: weeeeeell

jacelightwood: mood

claryfray added aleclightwood and magnusbane to the conversation

isabellelightwood: NO

isabellelightwood: I thouGHT YOU LOVED ME CLARY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

jacelightwood: #exposed

claryfray: well it’s better than mood I guess

isabellelightwood: CLARISSA ADELE FAIRCHILD

claryfray: oh fuck izzyimsorrypleasedonthurtme

isabellelightwood: cuddle privileges revoked for a week

claryfray: WHAT NO

claryfray: IZZY PLS I LOVE YOU IM SORRY PLeSse

isabellelightwood: you brought this upon yourself. lie in bed alone and cuddleless for a week. feel my pain.

Simonlewis names the chat angsty homosensuals

jacelightwood: homosensuals

jacelightwood: im done

simonlewis: you guys know magnus and alec are probably still asleep and aren’t gonna scroll to the beginning of this chat?

jacelightwood: #exposed

magnusbane: well actually

isabellelightwood: CLARY IM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN

aleclightwood: iz for starters,,, why were you in our apartment,,, at 8am,,,

claryfray: it was me I took the photo im a creepy stalker leave izzy alone

simonlewis: wow you really want the cuddle privileges back don’t you

claryfray: I NEED THE CUDDLES

magnusbane: aww #clizzy is otp

magnusbane: also rt izzy what are you doing in our house

isabellelightwood: idk what you’re talking about it was clary shes an obsessive stalker

simonlewis: interesting behaviour

claryfray: what

magnusbane: its what people at work say when a customer is being weird or annoying and you want to say what the fuck get out but you can’t so you just say interesting behaviour

aleclightwood: why did you say interesting behaviour when I made pancakes yesterday

aleclightwood: i thought you liked the pancakes

jacelightwood: #exposed

magnusbane: fuck off jace

magnusbane: it was a coincidence I love your pancakes

aleclightwood: lies and treachery

claryfray: for a little spoon you sure are aggressive alec

aleclightwood: im not a little spoon

magnusbane: omg you didn’t see it

aleclightwood: see what

claryfray sent a photo

aleclightwood: who did this

aleclightwood: WHO. DID. THIS.

claryfray: it was totally me

jacelightwood: it was izzy clary just doesn’t want her cuddle privileges revoked

magnusbane: understandable

magnusbane: I still don’t understand why isabelle was in our apartment

aleclightwood: don’t try and change the subject WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY PANCAKES

magnusbane: FINE YOU FLIPPED THEM WITH THE WRONG HAND ON THE WRONG PAN SO THEY ALWAYS LANDED ON THE LEFT SIDE ITS UNsATISFYING WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

aleclightwood: MAGNUS IM LEFT HANDED

simonlewis: HAHAHAH

magnusbane: oh that is true

magnusbane: the pancakes were still really good though

jacelightwood: I cant believe he makes you PANCAKES for fucks sake hes never made me food

isabellelightwood: that’s because my food is better

claryfray: of course it is iz!! cuddle privleges!! pls!!

simonlewis: interesting behaviour

aleclightwood: can we get back to the whole ‘isabelle-in-our-apartment-at-8am’ thing please

isabellelightwood: IT WAS CLARY

claryfray: IT WAS ME

claryfray: cuddle privileges

claryfray: pls

jacelightwood: alec wouldn’t tell izzy who the little spoon is so she snuck into magnus’ loft by his window the next morning to find out

isabellelightwood: I PAID YOU $20 NOT TO TELL ANYONE YOU SNAKE

jacelightwood: #exposed

magnusbane: izzy you could’ve just asked me

isabellelightwood: oh

isabellelightwood: FUCK

claryfray: HAHAHAHHA

isabellelightood: >:(

claryfray: I mean what ur smart and intelligent and clever and I love you lots cuddle privleges p l s

simonlewis: smart and intelligent and clever

claryfray: die

jacelightwood: no

magnusbane: #jimon is otp

claryfray: rt

isabellelightwood: why does magnus always come up with the shipnames

aleclightwood: because the rest of you are illiterate compared to him

magnusbane: aw babe

claryfray: #malec is otp

isabellelightwood: rt

simonlewis: rt

jacelightwood: hesitant rt

magnusbane: rt

aleclightwood: this is imesaage

magnusbane: its symbolic alexander

jacelightwood: yeah alexander

aleclightwood: jace don’t call me that

jacelightwood: but magnus calls you that

magnusbane: magnus also calls out his name in bed it’s a two in one package

aleclightwood: OH MY GOD MAGNUS

simonlewis: hey you know what else is a two in one package

simonlewis: malec

claryfray: aww bc theyre inseperable

simonlewis: no

isabellelightwood: what

isabellelightwood: OH

jacelightwood: im lost

claryfray: OH GOD NO SIMON I STG

jacelightwood: Oh

jacelightwood: SIMON FOR FUCKS SAKE THAT IS MY BROTHER YOURE TALKING ABOUT

aleclightwood: wait what

magnusbane: ya I don’t get it

isabellelightwood: brb

aleclightwood: THE WHAT FUCK SIMON

isabellelightwood: I explained it to him and he deadass fell off his chair

aleclightwood removed simonlewis from the convo

claryfray: HAHAHAH

magnusbane: explained what???

aleclightwood: you really do not want to know

jacelightwood: cmon alec tell him

isabellelightwood: ya tell him

isabellelightwood: also did you actually say the what fuck

magnusbane: the what fuck

jacelightwood: the what fuck

claryfray: the what fuck

isabellelightwood added simonlewis

simonlewis: the what fuck

aleclightwood: I cant believe the disrespect

magnusbane: neither can I, the what fuck is this

aleclightwood: do you want your cuddle privileges removed too

magnusbane: i meant I love and support you through everything and would never mock or insult you

jacelightwood: yall WEAK

simonlewis: I ate your twinkie last week and you cried for 40 minutes

jacelightwood: NO I DIDN’T

jacelightwood: LIES

claryfray: I had to calm him down

magnusbane: mood

magnusbane: I still don’t understand the joke simon made abt malec

claryfray: its for the best youd probably turn simon into a coatrack

simonlewis: wait you cant actually do that can you???

magnusbane: ive never felt the urge to try

isabellelightwood: he probably could

aleclightwood: rt

claryfray: hypocrite

aleclightwood: shut up fray

claryfray: love you too alec

magnusbane: why wont anyone tell me what the joke means

 

 


	2. parababitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jace walks in on malec and alec is pressedt

**8/6/2017 2:20 AM**

magnusbane: WHAT DOES THE JOKE MEAN IVE BEEN GRILLING ALEC BUT HE WONT TELL ME

aleclightwood: THAT’S BECAUSE ITS TWO FUCKING AM MAGS LET ME LiVE I NEED SLEEP TOO

isabellelightwood: omg alec you still haven’t told him

aleclightwood: go to sleep

isabellelightwood: not until he knows

claryfray: jfc I’ll tell him if it means izzy will go to sleep

aleclightwood: CLARRISA I STG

claryfray: fine I’ll dm him

aleclightwood: AS THE HEAD OF THE NEW YORK INSTUTUTE I ORDER YOU TO KEEP TJIS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION TO YOURSELF

claryfray: too late

magnusbane: alec its not even that bad jfc you could’ve just told me

aleclightwood: im a child of jeses it is that bad

claryfray: jeses

isabellelightwood: jeses

magnusbane: i love jeses

aleclightwood: im going back to sleep

isabellelightwood: have fun being the little spoon

aleclightwood: fuck off

magnusbane: he will iz

**8/6/2017 10:20am**

jacelightwood: psa to anyone who does not wish to permanently scar themselves forever

jacelightwood: knock before you enter magnus’ loft

simonlewis: omg did you walk in on them fucking

jacelightwood: yes I want to d i e

claryfray: jace,, this is the third time

isabellelightwood: alecs gonna put you on the night patrol shift for a week

jacelightwood: no see they didn’t even notice me there they were legit fucking on a couch and they didn’t even notice when I WALKED INTO THE ROOM

claryfray: jace you do know that magnus and alec are in this chat therefore they can read about this and know you walked in on them

jacelightwood: FUCK

simonlewis: HAHAHAH

isabellelightwood: ok but

jacelightwood: isabelle I fucking swear to go d

isabellelightwood: who topped

jacelightwood: JFC IZZY HOW MANY TIMESDO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I REFUSE TO ECOUNT MY TRAUMATIC PAST

isabellelightwood: I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO TOPS

magnusbane: me usually but we switch

isabellelightwood: THANK YOU GOD

magnusbane: also jace you should really learn how to knock

magnusbane: I would suggest unsending those messages before alexander wakes up or you’ll be on cleaning duty for a month

jacelightwood: you cant unsend messages in imesage

claryfray: HAHHA ur so dead jace

claryfray: magnus how r u so chill about this

magnusbane: about two hundred years ago the king of spain walked in on me in bed with his wife

magnusbane: since then ive realized its pointless to dwell on these things

simonlewis: damn

claryfray: was it worth it

magnusbane: no but the kings face was hilarious

jacelightwood: how long do I have before alec wakes up

magnusbane: it’s his day off and he’s very tired so I’d say another hour or so

jacelightwood: fuck

simonlewis: JACE DID YOU EAT MY DORITOS YOU SON OF A BITCH

jacelightwood: no?? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME??

simonlewis: it was you, wasn’t it. you traitorous bastard.

claryfray: it was me oops

simonlewis: oh okay

jacelightwood: are u FUCKING KIDDING ME

jacelightwood: if I eat your food im a traitorous bastard but if its clary its “oh okay”???

jacelightwood: I cant believe the disrespect

claryfray: get rekt

magnusbane: alec is so cute when hes asleep fjfjfjdj

isabellelightwood: omg show

magnusbane sent a photo to angsty homosensuals

claryfray: aww

isabellelightwood: soft

magnusbane: ikr

aleclightwood: I am not soft I am a stone-cold warrior

magnusbane: shut up you’re adorable

aleclightwood: :’)

aleclightwood: omg

aleclightwood: JACEWHAT THE FUCK

simonlewis: nice knowing you jacey I rlly did love you

claryfray: hasta la vista herondale

jacelightwood: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT IM SORRY ALEC

aleclightwood: this is the third fucking time you’re on night patrol for a month

claryfray: pay up simon

isabellelightwood: what

simonlewis: we had a bet going that alec would put jace on patrol or on cleaning duty,, clary won

claryfray: he owes me $20

jacelightwood: i cant believe you’d gamble on my fate

jacelightwood: a month is unfair alec pls it was an accident

aleclightwood: MAYBE IT WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOUD JUST FUCKING KNOCKED

jacelightwood: um

jacelightwood: I broke my hands

aleclightwood: funny, your hands seem fine right now as you TEXT ME

jacelightwood: im uh im using that voice control thing

isabellelightwood: no hes texting

jacelightwood: DAMMIT IZ

claryfray: #exposed

aleclightwood: broken hands?? that’s really the best you could come up with??

jacelightwood: alec pls my parababro don’t do this

aleclightwood: fuck off parababitch

magnusbane: parababitch

claryfray: parababitch

isabellelightwood: parababitch

simonlewis: parababitch

jacelightwood: :((

jacelightwood: wow is that the end of the yelling theres usually more

magnusbane: he fell asleep

jacelightwood: jfc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading <33 kudos & comments are always welcome! you can reach me at siredtofray on instagram and lightwoodpaxton on twitter :) also ideas/prompts are always a blessing


	3. algnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jace is sad over davina from the originals and bullied for it, ma girl maia is introduced n malec are soft

magnusbane: simon pls collect jace

aleclightwood: he won't leave

isabellelightwood: did he see a duck again 

jacelightwood: disrespect

aleclightwood: YOU SLEPT IN OUR BED WITH US DONT GO TALKING ABOUT DISRESPECT

maiaroberts: DID YOU LET HIM WATCH THE EP OF THE ORIGINALS WHERE DAVINA DIES

magnusbane: I DIDNT KNOW

simonlewis: oh lordy

jacelightwood: IT WAS SO SAD PLS

jacelightwood: DAVINA DESERVED BETTER

claryfray: you do know she comes back in season 4 right ??

jacelightwood: WHAT

jacelightwood: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

jacelightwood: ALL THIS PAIN FOR NOTHING

claryfray: chill

jacelightwood: I WILL NOT CHILL

jacelightwood: MY LIFE IS A LIE

jacelightwood: IM THROWING MYSELF INTO THE VOID

simonlewis: i'll be there in 10 minutes

magnusbane: thank you seamus

simonlewis: do you want me to leave him there

magnusbane: simon

simonlewis: :)

claryfray: iM

isabellelightwood: history has been made

maiaroberts: scientists are dumbfounded

simonlewis: anyone who's ever done anything important is shaking

magnusbane: i will turn you all into a coatrack

claryfray: don't you mean coatracks?

magnusbane: no

maiaroberts: if im shoved into a coatrack for all of eternity with simon lewis i'm pulling a jace

jacelightwood: ??

maiaroberts: throwing myself into the void

jacelightwood: ah, my trademark

aleclightwood: I wish

magnusbane: I wish too

claryfray: rt

jacelightwood: disrespect :((

aleclightwood: don’t even start jace

aleclightwood: hey when did maia get here?

maiaroberts: i was always here I just didn’t have wifi for a few days

aleclightwood: but ur staying now right??

maiaroberts: well if you idiots don’t even know to not let jace watch the originals then yes im staying

aleclightwood: THANK THE ANGEL

magnusbane: maia why does my boyfriend like you more than me

maiaroberts: because I have more dirt on jace and simon

claryfray: yeah but alec,,, _like_ likes you

simonlewis: like _like_ likes you

isabellelightwood: sooooooooooooooo much

aleclightwood: someone adopt these 12 year olds

jacelightwood: likelikelikelikelikelikelikes you

magnusbane: no he loves me fuck off

aleclightwood: ^

claryfray: aww #malec is otp

aleclightwood: choosing malec as our shipname over something like algnus definitely gives u points fray

isabellelightwood: ALGNUS

claryfray: if my shipname with smn was algnus id leave them asap

magnusbane: alexander id still love you if we were algnus

maiaroberts: wow that’s a whole new level of whipped

aleclightwood: me 2 bby

maiaroberts: w h i p p e d

aleclightwood: hey now

isabellelightwood: its true

claryfray: rt

simonlewis: rt

jacelightwood: rt

aleclightwood: the thing that terrifies me the most is you all sent that at the same time

magnusbane: coatrack


	4. carrot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jace and clary get roasted + malec r really gay

**_24/08/17_ **

jacelightwood: guys  
maiaroberts: no  
aleclightwood: no  
magnusbane: no  
isabellelightwood: no  
claryfray: no  
simonlewis: yes  
aleclightwood: the saddest thing is that those all sent within the span of 10 seconds  
aleclightwood: you guys have no life  
magnusbane: .  
aleclightwood: except for magnus i lov him  
magnusbane: better  
simonlewis: w h i p p e d  
jacelightwood: are u guys even gonna listen to what i say??  
maiaroberts: no  
aleclightwood: no  
magnusbane: no  
isabellelightwood: no  
claryfray: no  
jacelightwood: OK YALL HAVE GOTTA STOP DOING THAT  
maiaroberts: no  
aleclightwood: no  
magnusbane: no  
isabellelightwood: no  
claryfray: no  
jacelightwood: pathetic  
jacelightwood: simon is the only good one here  
simonlewis: awwww :')  
claryfray: he's just saying that bc he doesn't want simon to pull an izzy and take away cuddle privileges  
jacelightwood: NO IM NOT I DONT CUDDLE I AM A STONE COLD WARRIOR  
claryfray: jace i have photos of you as the little spoon  
maiaroberts: SHOW  
claryfray sent a photo to angsty homosensuals  
magnusbane: aww  
jacelightwood: BURN THAT  
aleclightwood: it's a digital photo what r u on  
jacelightwood: BURN UR PHONE  
magnusbane: pr sure all of us have already saved it so you're gonna have to burn all of our phones  
isabellelightwood: wait hold up i'm  
gonna put a copy of it on a usb stick  
claryfray: ooo where are you gonna hide it  
isabellelightwood: clary sweetie  
claryfray: oh so u don't trust me now??? you want those cuddle privileges???  
isabellelightwood: clary  
isabellelightwood: jace is in this convo  
jacelightwood: thanks for the info  
claryfray: this is  
claryfray: this is true  
aleclightwood: HAHAHA carrot  
maiaroberts: CARROT  
maiaroberts: alec have i mentioned recently how much i appreciate ur existence  
magnusbane: ok then,,,,  
aleclightwood: thank you maia  
aleclightwood: magnus why,,, IM GAY  
magnusbane: IM AWARE  
aleclightwood: JFC THEN W HY  
maiaroberts: never a dull moment in this gc  
isabellelightwood: magnus is almost as irrationally jealous as me  
claryfray: remember before jimon when jace tried to hit on me even though i'm the gayest lesbian around and izzy threw a pan at his head  
simonlewis: a pan,,,, that's ironic  
claryfray: OHMYGOD  
maiaroberts: JIMON WAS CREATED BY IZZY YALL  
jacelightwood: clary introduced us ???  
aleclightwood: JIMON IS ISABELLES FAULT  
simonlewis: fault  
jacelightwood: b itch  
aleclightwood: if jimon never happened i wouldn't have come home to them fucking on my couch so yes izzys FAULT  
magnusbane: i still don't know why you were in our loft without either of us there???  
simonlewis: STOP BRINGING BACK TRAUMATIC MEMORIES  
jacelightwood: FUCK OFF ALEC IT WAS AN ACCIDENT YOU SHOULDVE KNOCKED  
aleclightwood: oh of course i should've knocked before walking into MY LOFT what a fan fucking tabulous idea THANKS JACE  
jacelightwood: EXACTLY  
isabellelightwood: isn't it magnus' apartment?  
magnusbane: we live together ???  
aleclightwood: ^  
isabellelightwood: true i love you guys so much  
aleclightwood: i'm on the subway and this baby will not shut up i  
isabellelightwood: i can't wait for you and magnus to have babies  
aleclightwood: i swear i could be talking about trees and you'd find a way to turn it into a conversation about malec  
isabellelightwood: you guys should make babies against trees  
claryfray: babe they can't ???  
magnusbane: hasn't stopped us from trying ;)  
simonlewis: same  
aleclightwood: at this point it's useless trying to stop any of you from making increasingly sexual innuendos  
magnusbane: you only just realised this now??  
jacelightwood: he's a slow learner  
magnusbane: he's a plenty fast learner in other things ;)  
aleclightwood: i give up  
claryfray: took you long enough  
jacelightwood: welcome to the dark side  
isabellelightwood: we have cookies  
aleclightwood: did u make these cookies  
isabellelightwood: ofc  
aleclightwood: suddenly i'm still putting up a fight against the innuendos  
magnusbane: understandable  
 ** _27/08/17_**  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
isabellelightwood: magnus  
magnusbane: jfc you're almost as clingy as your brother  
aleclightwood: disrespect  
magnusbane: you texted me twelve times in the last two hours telling me you love me ???  
aleclightwood: are you complaining  
magnusbane: no  
aleclightwood: see there we go  
aleclightwood: i love you  
magnusbane: i love you too  
isabellelightwood: AWKDJDJ  
isabellelightwood: anyways magnus can i come over tonight and watch mean girls  
magnusbane: hell yeah  
aleclightwood: i  
magnusbane: sorry alexander i'm gonna have to cancel dinner  
aleclightwood: which one of us are you dating again i forget sometimes  
magnusbane: isabelle  
claryfray: do you wanna go  
magnusbane: i can't believe you think isabelle is the one who's irrationally jealous  
maiaroberts: tbh they both are  
isabellelightwood: this is true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always you can reach me @siredtofray on instagram have a nice day :))


	5. pinky promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> magnus breaks a pinky promise and everyone ignores jace

**_7/9/17 3:47pm_ **

isabellelightwood: magnus r we still on for tonight  
magnusbane: ya ofc i'm going out w alec before so i'll be there at 9ish  
claryfray: oh no  
isabellelightwood: oh no  
jacelightwood: oh no  
simonlewis: oh no  
maiaroberts: oh HELL no  
aleclightwood: ???  
magnusbane: ???  
jacelightwood: u two r gonna end up stumbling in here tearing each other's clothes off while there are PEOPLE IN THE LOFT that can HEAR YOU and then COMPLETELY FORGET WE EXIST  
aleclightwood: THAT HAPPENED ONCE  
isabellelightwood: FOUR TIMES  
magnusbane: IT WON'T HAPPEN TONIGHT  
isabellelightwood: PINKY PROMISE  
magnusbane: i  
isabellelightwood: MAGNUS  
magnusbane: FINE I PINKY PROMISE  
aleclightwood: we'll be back at 8:30  
isabellelightwood: i'll be there at 8 and eat all your food before y'all come back  
magnusbane: oh great  
 ** _7/9/17 8:57pm_**  
isabellelightwood: oh my FUCKING GOD  
claryfray: THEY BROKE THE PINKY PROMISE  
simonlewis: TRAITOR  
isabellelightwood: so i'm just sitting on the couch eating all of magnus' mars bars and suddenly i hear a crash at the door  
claryfray: oh fuck  
jacelightwood: suspense  
isabellelightwood: and they STUMBLE IN HERE, MAKING OUT, alec is aLREADY SHIRTLESS  
simonlewis: hot  
jacelightwood: excuse me  
simonlewis: i said what i said  
isabellelightwood: and they COMPLETELY IGNORE ME  
jacelightwood: same  
claryfray: >:(  
jacelightwood: :)  
isabellelightwood: ALEC PICKED MAGNUS UP AND CARRIED HIM JNTO THEIR BEDROOM  
simonlewis: why doesn't jace carry me  
jacelightwood: i could  
simonlewis: omg yes pls  
claryfray: can yall pls stop talking about ur sex lives in a GROUPCHAT  
maiaroberts: hypocrite  
isabellelightwood: OKAY THEY DIDNT CLOSE THE DOOR THEY ARE LOUD  
claryfray: get out of there ???  
isabellelightwood: where's the nearest black hole im throwing myself into it  
simonlewis: the nearest one is 17,000 lightyears away  
claryfray: that was a rhetorical question simon  
simonlewis: oh  
jacelightwood: he's sad now  
maiaroberts: mood  
claryfray: oh not you too  
jacelightwood: fuck off  
isabellelightwood: ok i'm out i took 30 snickers bars with me for breaking the pinky promise  
jacelightwood: i think we were all just waiting for magnus to yell at her but he didn't and everyone's disappointed  
maiaroberts: nah   
claryfray: nope  
isabellelightwood: god i hope not  
simonlewis: nah but that'd be funny  
jacelightwood: :(  
maiaroberts: y'all realise it's not like magnus is gonna text while he's getting a bj or smth  
claryfray: she has a point but it's been at least an hour   
isabellelightwood: i vaguely remember magnus doing that once  
magnusbane: no i didn't ???  
isabellelightwood: MAGNUS  
magnusbane: bye!!  
aleclightwood: i think we're gonna have to move to france  
isabellelightwood: YOU BROKE A PINKY PROMISE  
magnusbane: WELL THATS YOUR BROTHERS FAULT FOR BEING HOT  
isabellelightwood: DAMMIT ALEC  
aleclightwood: HE KISSED ME FIRST  
claryfray: yall r such drama queens  
isabellelightwood: >:(  
claryfray: EXCEPT FOR IZ I LOVE HER  
magnusbane: i swear clary is the definition of whipped  
maiaroberts: nah alec is  
jacelightwood: rt  
claryfray: rt  
simonlewis: rt  
isabellelightwood: rt  
aleclightwood: disrespect  
magnusbane: exCUSE ME DID ISABELLE STEAL MY SNICKERS BARS  
isabellelightwood: YOU BROKE A PINKY PROMISE  
aleclightwood: magnus pls come back to bed  
magnusbane: THATS IT YOU DONT GET TO PLAN THE MALEC WEDDING ANYMORE  
aleclightwood: we're not engaged ??  
isabellelightwood: NO MAGNUS PLEASE IM SORRY  
simonlewis: ok how about we call a truce, izzy keeps the snickers in compensation for the pinky promise, magnus buys more, izzy can wedding plan, all is good  
aleclightwood: YES AMAZING please come back to bed mags  
isabellelightwood: mags  
jacelightwood: mags  
claryfray: mags  
maiaroberts: mags  
simonlewis: mags  
aleclightwood: fuck off at least he came back to bed  
claryfray: we'd hate for alec to miss his quality little spoon time  
aleclightwood: WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT  
claryfray: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo my dudes thank you for reading this as always !! kudos & comments r forever appreciated  
> you can reach me @siredtofray on ig and @lightwoodpaxton on twitter


	6. jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clary is jealous for no reason and poor jace keeps walking in on his friends, sorry this chapter is kinda shitty

isabellelightwood: becky u want sum fuk  
maiaroberts: no ron  
isabellelightwood: u want stik ? bitches love stiks  
maiaroberts: no ron  
isabellelightwood: fuk u becky  
jacelightwood: ur dating clary ???  
magnusbane: it's a meme  
claryfray: WHAT THE FUCK  
claryfray: IZZY IS MI N R  
claryfray: MI NE  
isabellelightwood: it's a mEME  
claryfray: M I N E  
aleclightwood: i swear clary is actually 3  
jacelightwood: alec when u were drunk u started crying because of snakes  
aleclightwood: THEY DONT HAVE LEGS  
claryfray: nah maia has legs  
maiaroberts: CLARY  
claryfray: NO  
aleclightwood: you're all pathetic  
aleclightwood: except for mags i lov him  
claryfray: we know  
simonlewis: we know  
maiaroberts: we know  
jacelightwood: we know  
isabellelightwood: we know  
magnusbane: aw babe :')  
aleclightwood: those all came in within the span of ten seconds ???  
claryfray: isabelle  
jacelightwood: ooooo someone's in trouble she only calls iz that when she's maaaad  
simonlewis: ^  
isabellelightwood: fuck off jace  
claryfray: fuck off jace  
claryfray: isabelle come over  
simonlewis: oh shit  
isabellelightwood: are u gonna yell at me pls don't  
claryfray: just come over  
isabellelightwood: i'll be there in 5 minutes  
simonlewis:oooo  
jacelightwood: update: they're fucking in the room RIFHT NEXT TO MINE GOD PLS  
magnusbane: does jace have a kink for listening/seeing his friends have sex????  
jacelightwood: we're friends ??  
magnusbane: i'm dating alexander  
???  
jacelightwood: still ????  
simonlewis: new drinking game: take a shot every time magnus or jace say "???"  
magnusbane: we aren't friends ???  
jacelightwood: I LIVED WITH YOU FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS  
magnusbane: YOU ATE ALL MY FOOD  
magnusbane: INTERRUPTED ME AND ALEXANDER A HUNDRED TIMES  
aleclightwood: i can vouch for this  
jacelightwood: i'm hurt  
magnusbane: good  
isabellelightwood: savage  
magnusbane: OMG IZZY UR BACK WAS IT YELLING OR ANGRY POSSESSIVE SEX  
isabellelightwood: BOTH  
jacelightwood: i can vouch for this  
aleclightwood: why are you the way you are  
jacelightwood: disrespect  
magnusbane: petition to double check jace is not in the building when any of us are about to have sex and then lock all doors  
simonlewis: um  
magnusbane: unless the person you're having sex with is jace, then i just pity you  
jacelightwood: hEY NOW  
simonlewis: trust me i don't need pity  
aleclightwood: ew  
isabellelightwood: ew  
claryfray: ew  
maiaroberts: ew  
magnusbane: ew  
jacelightwood: damn right  
simonlewis: i swear those all came in at the same time i'm done  
maiaroberts: yall have no lives i stg  
simonlewis: hypocrite  
maiaroberts: go away  
simonlewis: maia we should make a club  
maiaroberts: ??  
simonlewis: the "tried to hit on izzy and getting violently reminded of how possessive clary is"  
maiaroberts: I WAS NOT HITTING ON HERt  
isabellelightwood: it's a M E M E  
magnusbane: can i join this club  
aleclightwood: WHAT  
magnusbane: i'm kidding jfc  
aleclightwood: you better be  
magnusbane: i'm sorry you call ME jealous  
aleclightwood: remember when a seelie hit on me and you made her grow a beard  
simonlewis: HAHAHA  
magnusbane: no comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and as alwaysss you can reach me on siredtofray on instagram and lightwoodpaxton on twitter. i love you guys !!!


	7. baby driver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alec has secret photos of shirtless ansel elgort, magnus is triggered and maia is pan af cause we don't allow heterostraights in this gc

simonlewis: never EVER let jace drive a car  
magnusbane: you just learned that now ??  
lukegarroway: he wrapped my car around a pole once  
claryfray: when did luke get here  
lukegarroway: i'm leaving now i just needed to say that  
magnusbane: wow  
aleclightwood: iconic  
aleclightwood: really though jace is a HORRIBLE driver  
isabellelightwood: he's like baby driver with more speeding and less skill  
jacelightwood: at least ansel elgort is hot  
isabellelightwood: true  
claryfray: who's this ansel elgort kid im gonna kill him  
aleclightwood: image attached  
magnusbane: hey now why do you have shirtless pictures of ansel elgort  
jacelightwood: #exposed  
claryfray: you don't show up when we talk shit about your driving but as soon as someone bullies alec you're here ??  
jacelightwood: i mean my driving is a little wild but go hard or go home  
isabellelightwood: well you can't do either without jace totalling a car  
jacelightwood: .  
jacelightwood: okay you're not wrong  
magnusbane: can we get back to why does alec have shirtless photos of ansel elgort  
aleclightwood: the shirtless pics of you i have are better  
magnusbane: well damn ok then  
claryfray: slick  
aleclightwood: i know  
isabellelightwood: stop hitting on my girlfriend  
aleclightwood: JDKFNDN IZZY WE'RE BOTH GAY AS FUCK  
aleclightwood: I CANT BELIEVE YOUD ACCUSE ME OF BEING A HETEROSTRAIGHT  
claryfray: IM SICK OF THE DISRESPECT  
magnusbane: apparently he's gay for ANSEL ELGORT too  
claryfray: honestly if i were into guys  
maiaroberts: did you actually just say those words  
magnusbane: "if i were into guys" - clary gay 2k17  
jacelightwood: don't you mean fray ??  
magnusbane: did i fucking stutter  
aleclightwood: HSSJFNFN  
isabellelightwood: you know what i love about this gc  
isabellelightwood: legit none of us are straight  
maiaroberts: i am ??  
magnusbane: are you though  
maiaroberts: no  
claryfray: IFKFMFNF YES  
simonlewis: IM PROUD OF U  
maiaroberts: i'm pan  
simonlewis: Y E S  
simonlewis: now we can rename the club "pan bros"  
maiaroberts: no  
aleclightwood: get rekt  
magnusbane: did you just say "rekt"  
aleclightwood: no  
magnusbane: heathens  
isabellelightwood: i thought you were above tøp  
magnusbane: yall know they didn't invent the word heathen  
isabellelightwood: that's  
isabellelightwood: that's true  
aleclightwood: babe can i come over  
jacelightwood: sure  
simonlewis: what the fuck  
aleclightwood: what the frickity frack whick whack crackerjack smack jack tuck tack smackerback  
jacelightwood: poetry  
aleclightwood: since when do u respond to me saying babe  
jacelightwood: baby driver (2017)  
aleclightwood: CAN YALL STOP WITH THE FUCKING BABY DRIVER JOKES  
magnusbane: as soon as you get rid of the shirtless ansel elgort photos  
aleclightwood: IT WAS ONE  
magnusbane: THE ONLY PICTURES OF SHIRTLESS MEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ARE OF ME  
aleclightwood: ITS GONE  
magnusbane: it better be  
aleclightwood: i love you  
magnusbane: i love you too  
isabellelightwood: awww #malec  
jacelightwood: why aren't we that cute  
simonlewis: cause you're a dick  
jacelightwood: a great one too ;)  
simonlewis: i know  
claryfray: ew  
isabellelightwood: ew  
maiaroberts: ew  
magnusbane: ew  
aleclightwood: ew  
simonlewis: when will y'all stop ganging up on us  
simonlewis: y'all don't care if malec are being gross  
claryfray: that's bc if we bullied magnus we'd end up turned into ducks  
jacelightwood: NO GOD PLS  
magnusbane: she's right  
simonlewis: jarce would leave me asap if magnus turned me into a duck  
jacelightwood: have a little faith  
simonlewis: am i wrong  
jacelightwood: ,,,,  
jacelightwood: listen  
claryfray: isabelle if you turned into a dick id still love you  
claryfray: *duck  
claryfray: yeah if you turned into a dick id leave you i'm too gay for that shit  
isabellelightwood: ily 2  
aleclightwood: i will never understand lesbians  
claryfray: dicks r gross  
aleclightwood: lies  
magnusbane: ^  
jacelightwood: ur so gay  
aleclightwood: says you  
jacelightwood: ,,,  
jacelightwood: ok true  
maiaroberts: i feel like y'all are having a gay off right now  
claryfray: mirror mirror on the wall who's the gayest of them all  
jacelightwood: alec  
magnusbane: alec  
aleclightwood: me  
maiaroberts: alec  
isabellelightwood: alec  
claryfray: its unanimous then  
claryfray: i crown alec the ultimate gay  
aleclightwood: YES  
aleclightwood: MY LIFE GOALS ARE COMPLETED  
aleclightwood: ok i'm not married to magnus yet BUT OTHER THAN THAT  
magnusbane: i'm sorry what


	8. clary gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12 inch disco stick + clary is gay

aleclightwood. huey do u guys trmember when my bby magus threw that party for max and i had to ask marcuse first  
magnusbane: were kindja drunkh psa  
aleclightwood: ya so anyways she was like thx for the offer from ur FRIENDI  
aleclightwood: and i rlly wanted to say like   
aleclightwood: thx mom magnus and his 12 inch disco stick appreciate it  
simonlewis: TWELVE INCH DISCO STICK

acelightwood: T W E L V E I N C H D I S C O S T I C K

isabellelightwood: _T W E L V E I N C H D I S C O S T I C K_  
claryfray: **_T W E L V E I N C H D I S C O S T I C K_**  
simonlewis: is a 12 inch dick even possible  
claryfray: yes the world record is 13.7 inches  
isabellelightwood: how the fuck do you know that you're a fucking lesbian  
claryfray: well i figured if even the longest dick doesn't tempt me i really am gay inside and out  
maiaroberts: so the face wasn't evidence enough ??  
claryfray: bully  
jacelightwood: is magnus' dick really 12 inches  
simonlewis: why do you care  
jacelightwood: oh fuck off  
jacelightwood: where are malec anyway  
isabellelightwood: probably boning with magnus' 12 inch disco stick  
claryfray: my gay ass did NOT need that imagery  
jacelightwood: alecs gay ass, however, apparently needs nothing but the 12 inch disco stick  
claryfray: PLS STOP I BEG YOU  
maiaroberts: twelve  
jacelightwood: inch  
isabellelightwood: disco  
simonlewis: stick  
claryfray left angsty homosensuals  
jacelightwood: i screenshotted alec saying that and created 7 copies, one is on my phone one is on my laptop one is on the institute database filed under warlock information and the rest are on secret usb sticks i'm hiding in different places  
jacelightwood: i also have copies on the cloud  
isabellelightwood: that's dedication  
isabellelightwood added claryfray  
claryfray: y'all still talking about dicks ?  
isabellelightwood: magnus and alec seem to have slipped off the face of the earth for now so rn,,, no  
claryfray: k i'll stay  
isabellelightwood: good i missed you  
simonlewis: clary was gone for 20 secs ??  
isabellelightwood: do you wanna fucking go  
simonlewis: no pls  
isabellelightwood: damn right  
claryfray: YES you go babe crack that whip !!  
jacelightwood: kinky  
claryfray: damn right  
jacelightwood: nope i do not want to know  
isabellelightwood: you do though don't you  
jacelightwood: ,,,  
jacelightwood: maybe  
simonlewis: i  
isabellelightwood: well too fucking bad you pervert we aren't saying shit  
claryfray: YES TELL HIM BABE  
maiaroberts: when will clary stop being creepily supportive of everything isabelle does ???  
claryfray: never, fuck off  
simonlewis: thts gay  
claryfray: damn right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonder what's happening w malec


	9. jimon move to russia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> malec have a big announcement and jimon are so scared of magnus they move to fucking russia

 

jacelightwood: GOOD MORNING VIETNAAAM  
jacelightwood: alec how r u doing  
aleclightwood: i want to die but i also don't  
magnusbane: me 2  
isabellelightwood: explain, y'all left us on a cliffhanger last time  
aleclightwood: i can't stop you from telling them can i  
magnusbane: nope  
aleclightwood: oh lordy  
magnusbane: ok so basically alec came home we talked, ended up engaged, it was great  
isabellelightwood: WHAT  
maiaroberts: KKDJDND  
magnusbane: shh im not done yet  
isabellelightwood: sorry, pls continue  
magnusbane: anyways then we had a lot of great sex and then got really drunk and alec lost his filter entirely which led to the 12 inch disco stick thing  
magnusbane: and now we both have a hangover but we're engaged so who gives a fuck  
aleclightwood: ^  
isabellelightwood: IKDNFNDD  
claryfray: MSIKFMFNF  
jacelightwood: HDNDNDND  
simonlewis: SNFNDFINTTB  
maiaroberts: QJXNDFJDND  
aleclightwood: i swear those all came in at the EXACT same time  
isabellelightwood: IMM SO HAPPY FOR U GUYS :')))))  
claryfray: ME TOOO OMFJDJDN UR GONNA MAKE BEAUTIFUL BABES  
aleclightwood: first of all thanks iz  
magnusbane: second of all not only am i a warlock,,,, we're in a gay relationship we can't make babies ??  
jacelightwood: hasn't stopped yall from trying  
maiaroberts: congrats u guys !!  
jacelightwood: anyways u go bro !!  
magnusbane: thanks maia  
jacelightwood: i-  
magnusbane: just bc we're gonna b inlaws doesn't mean i have to like you  
jacelightwood: ):  
isabellelightwood: CLARY AND I ARE ON WEDDING PLANNING  
claryfray: YES  
simonlewis: ME TOO  
aleclightwood: not u simon i don't trust u with my wedding  
simonlewis: ):  
maiaroberts: hey alec wanna stand in the back w me while magnus clary simon and izzy make flower arrangements  
aleclightwood: yes pls lord  
jacelightwood: count me in  
magnusbane: alexander its your wedding you have to at least be involved  
aleclightwood: i am involved, i'll be the one marrying you  
magnusbane: i suppose you have a point  
magnusbane: we're still going ring shopping though  
aleclightwood: fine  
simonlewis: AWJDJDJDJ  
simonlewis: wait what's the deal with names  
magnusbane: we're hyphenating  
claryfray: AWJDJDJD THATS SO GAY  
maiaroberts: jesus you and simon even keyboard smash the same  
simonlewis: guys,,,, if they're hyphenating,,,,  
simonlewis changed aleclightwood's username to aleclightwoodbane  
simonlewis changed magnusbane's username to magnuslightwoodbane  
aleclightwoodbane: hey now why does magnus' name get to be last  
maiaroberts: cause it sounds better  
magnuslightwoodbane: she has a point  
aleclightwoodbane: fine  
isabellelightwood: ,,,  
aleclightwoodbane: hoe don't do it  
isabellelightwood: w h i p p e d  
aleclightwoodbane: oh my god  
aleclightwoodbane: anyways jace ur the institute dude for a while i'm going ring shopping  
magnuslightwoodbane: ya me 2  
jacelightwood: institute dude  
maiaroberts: clearly he's still a little hungover  
claryfray: jace i think you'd make a great institute dude   
jacelightwood: thx  
claryfray: jk  
jacelightwood: stop bullying jace 2k17  
maiaroberts: never  
jacelightwood: u weren't so mean to me when we were fucking  
simonlewis: what  
claryfray: what  
isabellelightwood: what  
maiaroberts: it happened once  
simonlewis: >:( the pan club is canceled  
maiaroberts: the pan club never existed dumbass  
simonlewis >:((((  
simonlewis: is magnus' dick actually 12 inches that's spooky  
isabellelightwood: pls don't ask him  
jacelightwood: it's prob around 10 inches  
maiaroberts: what the fuck  
jacelightwood: i walk in on them often ok  
jacelightwood: ok can y'all please spam so they don't see this when they come back from ring shopping  
claryfray: nah i'm curious what will happen, nobody say anything else until they get back

  
**_8:37pm_ **

aleclightwoodbane: wow  
jacelightwood: oh fuck  
magnuslightwoodbane: w o w  
jacelightwood: OH FUCK  
jacelightwood: SIMON WE'RE MOVING TO RUSSIA  
simonlewis: IM ALL THERE BABY  
jacelightwood: I LOVE YOU IN CASE I DIE  
simonlewis: I LOVE YOU IN CASE I DIE TOO  
magnuslightwoodbane: i love how we said one word and they're moving to russia  
aleclightwoodbane: amazing  
maiaroberts: i endorse this  
claryfray: malec being a power couple or jimon moving to russia?  
maiaroberts: both  
isabellelightwood: same  
simonlewis: ok jace i've packed my bags lets meet at the airport there's a flight at 10  
jacelightwood: i'm on my way  
magnuslightwoodbane: by the angel how scared of us ARE you ??  
simonlewis: very  
claryfray: omg did magnus just say by the angel  
aleclightwoodbane: do you wanna go  
claryfray: to hell where i belong ?? yes.  
jacelightwood: ok u guys we're in the airport the plane is in 20 mins  
aleclightwoodbane: are you actually going to fucking russia to get away from us   
simonlewis: yes  
magnuslightwoodbane: proof  
jacelightwood sent a video to angsty homosensuals  
magnuslightwoodbane: WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAH  
claryfray: YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS IM CACKLING  
isabellelightwood: A FAT MOOD IFNFDJJD  
maiaroberts: IACTUALLY CANT BREATHE  
aleclightwoodbane: YOU GUYS R SO EXTRA IM CACKLINH  
jacelightwood: wow  
simonlewis: we'll miss you too  
aleclightwoodbane: wait you guys are serious about this?  
jacelightwood: as a heart attack  
simonlewis: ok our flight is here we'll text you when we're there  
jacelightwood: not our exact location though otherwise malec will hunt us down  
magnuslightwoodbane: jesus  
magnuslightwoodbane: this is the most extra thing i've heard all century  
magnuslightwoodbane: that's saying a lot  
jacelightwood: ok bye yall !!  
claryfray: hasta la vista  
isabellelightwood: who wants to bet they'll be back within 24 hrs  
maiaroberts: give them a week at least  
isabellelightwood: wanna bet   
maiaroberts: $50?  
isabellelightwood: you're on  
aleclightwoodbane: i can feel jace getting further away from me through the bond jesus he's actually doing this  
magnuslightwoodbane: to be fair would we really have been kind to them if they had stayed  
aleclightwoodbane: true, i had plans to put jace on night patrol for 8 months and green hair dye in his shampoo  
magnuslightwoodbane: i should probably get the 300 ducks out of jaces room  
maiaroberts: jesus yall invented being petty  
aleclightwoodbane: you talk shit about my fiancé you get rekt  
claryfray: i feel like this is the time to point out neither jace or simon ever said anything negative about magnus  
aleclightwoodbane: there are two people in this chat who are permitted to talk about my fiancés dick jace and simon are neither of them  
magnuslightwoodbane: ur so adorable when ur protective  
aleclightwoodbane: i love you  
magnuslightwoodbane: i love you too bby  
claryfray: AWJFJFND UR SO CUUUUUTE  
isabellelightwood: #malec :')))  
maiaroberts: you 2 are so cute i cant  
aleclightwoodbane: do you smell that  
claryfray: what  
aleclightwoodbane: jace free air  
claryfray: incredible  
isabellelightwood: amazing  
maiaroberts: wonderful  
magnuslightwoodbane: showstopping  
maiaroberts: so positive  
aleclightwoodbane: so beautiful  
magnuslightwoodbane: i want jace free air at our wedding but i love alexander so i'll have jace contaminated air at my wedding  
aleclightwoodbane: only if he can manage to take a break from his russian lifestyle  
claryfray: neither of them even speak russian kffjfjf  
isabellelightwood: rip jimon 2k17  
simonlewis: yall we're here  
simonlewis sent a photo to angsty homosensuals  
magnuslightwoodbane: that looks,,, cold  
jacelightwood: it is  
simonlewis: we have nowhere to go so we're gonna try and find a hotel but nobody speaks english spanish or german  
claryfray: you know german and spanish ???  
jacelightwood: no i do  
maiaroberts: has it ever occurred to you to maybe not move to a country that speaks a language you don't know and where you know nobody  
simonlewis: you and your logic can fuck off  
aleclightwoodbane removed jacelightwood and simonlewis from angsty homosensuals   
aleclightwoodbane: mags should we tell them we're not actually going to kill them if they come  
back  
magnuslightwoodbane: i would  
like to see how long they last  
isabellelightwood: yes pls i wanna win the bet  
aleclightwoodbane: k but when they come back jace is my best man  
magnuslightwoodbane: ofc  
isabellelightwood: ,,,  
aleclightwoodbane: IZZY I STG  
isabellelightwood: whipped  
aleclightwoodbane: i'm done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEYRE ENGAGED WHOOOO honestly who expected this to have a plot ya neither did i but,,, will jimon return from russia ??? who knows.


	10. parabapal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jimon realise they done fucked up, parabatai feelz and clary being overprotective

maiaroberts added jacelightwood and simonlewis to angsty homosensuals  
maiaroberts: so how are jimon doing  
jacelightwood: well we managed to book into a hotel but we held hands when we were walking into another hotel and security threw us out immediately  
magnuslightwoodbane: ,,,, you guys know russia is one of the most homophobic countries in the world right ??  
simonlewis: well we know now  
magnuslightwoodbane: also that it's almost always cold there  
magnuslightwoodbane: the government is totally corrupt  
magnuslightwoodbane: why did you guys choose russia of all places jfc  
jacelightwood: bc it's the biggest country in the world and you can't find us  
aleclightwoodbane: wow  
claryfray: maybe,,, just maybe,,, it would've been a good idea to go to a country which language you actually speak ???  
jacelightwood: fuck off we'll learn russian  
magnuslightwoodbane: good luck with that russian is really hard to learn  
jacelightwood: wait you speak russian ???? shit  
magnuslightwoodbane: no i tried but i gave up bc i had no real reason to learn it  
magnuslightwoodbane: also after camille cheated on me with a russian i wasn't exactly motivated  
aleclightwoodbane: i'm beating up the next russian i see  
magnuslightwoodbane: aw babe :')  
simonlewis: JACE THEYRE COMING FOR US  
jacelightwood: FUCK I KNEW IT  
simonlewis: PLS HAVE MERCY  
jacelightwood: WE DIDNT MEAN TO EXPOSE MAGNUS PLS IM SORRY  
simonlewis: PLEASE  
aleclightwoodbane: unless you're the russian c*mille cheated with we're not gonna hurt you  
jacelightwood: wait what ??  
simonlewis: so you're not angry about magnus' dick ???  
aleclightwoodbane: no actually i'm  
quite happy about magnus' dick  
magnuslightwoodbane: KDJDND ALEXANDER  
isabellelightwood: ALEC FJDJDN  
jacelightwood: ANYWAYS you weren't gonna hurt us ??  
magnuslightwoodbane: other than the ducks in your room, no, i don't really care that much  
aleclightwoodbane: you guys totally overreacted jfc  
simonlewis: are you fucking kidding me  
jacelightwood: WE MOVED TO FUCKING RUSSIA FOR NOTHING  
simonlewis: well to be fair we didn't ship all of our things  
simonlewis: also living with u for a week was kinda nice  
jacelightwood: thanks babe   
maiaroberts: A WEEK  
isabellelightwood: FUCK  
maiaroberts: PAY UP BITCH  
claryfray: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL MY GIRLFRIEND  
maiaroberts: i said what i said  
claryfray: ILL FITE U  
maiaroberts: will you though  
claryfray: fuck  
claryfray: izzy ily but i'm scared of maia i can't protect your honour today  
isabellelightwood: it's alg bby  
magnuslightwoodbane: #clizzy :')  
simonlewis: jimon are coming back in 2 days  
claryfray: yay simons coming back !!  
jacelightwood: what about me  
claryfray: oh jace is coming back too  
maiaroberts: honestly i liked them better when there was a continent between us  
magnuslightwoodbane: rt  
aleclightwoodbane: same  
aleclightwoodbane: except for jace bc the parabatai bond feels weird if we're not relatively close  
magnuslightwoodbane: what ?? why didn't you tell me ?? baby r u okay ???  
aleclightwoodbane: i'm fine it's just strange  
jacelightwood: i feel it too my parabadude  
aleclightwoodbane: how many nouns are you planning on putting in the place of "tai"  
jacelightwood: all of them  
aleclightwoodbane: shit  
maiaroberts: parabadesk  
magnuslightwoodbane: parabachair  
simonlewis: parabapan  
claryfray: parabagay  
isabellelightwood: parababi  
aleclightwoodbane: anyways jace do you wanna b my best man  
jacelightwood: as long as you actually go through with this wedding  
aleclightwoodbane: i will  
magnuslightwoodbane: he will  
isabellelightwood: awjdjdjd you gUUYS  
aleclightwoodbane: thts a yes right jace ??  
jacelightwood: of course parabapal  
aleclightwoodbane: thanks parababestfriend  
magnuslightwoodbane: that was weak  
aleclightwoodbane: shut up  
magnuslightwoodbane: i love u  
aleclightwoodbane: i love u 2  
maiaroberts: i cry every time  
claryfray: rt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading my dudes !! prompts and ideas for future chapters r always welcome :))


	11. only bi legends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alec is exposed (again), the bi squad are awesome and malec plan an engagement party

jacelightwood: wait aren't we coming back on alecs bday?  
aleclightwoodbane: NO  
jacelightwood: yes ??  
magnuslightwoodbane: WHAT  
jacelightwood: ohh  
claryfray: u guys have been dating  
for ages how do u not know when alecs bday is??  
magnuslightwoodbane: we've been dating for 10 months  
isabellelightwood: i see  
aleclightwoodbane: ITS NOT MY BDAY  
isabellelightwood: stop fighting it alec  
magnuslightwoodbane: babe if u don't want me to make a big deal about it you could've just told me that, you didn't have to hide it completely  
aleclightwoodbane: oh  
aleclightwoodbane: i suppose you have a point  
maiaroberts: have malec ever had a debate that hasn't ended in magnus being right  
aleclightwoodbane: no  
magnuslightwoodbane: no  
claryfray: i wish i was the magnus in my relationship but i'm the alec  
isabellelightwood: thts true  
isabellelightwood: only bi legends can be the magnus of the relationship  
magnuslightwoodbane: bless, happy bi week   
jacelightwood: does that make me the magnus of the relationship ??  
simonlewis: no  
jacelightwood: oh  
magnuslightwoodbane: what's wrong w being the alec in a relationship?? i like my alec  
aleclightwoodbane: ^  
claryfray: tries their hardest and is soft but also wrong 24/7 and starts unnecessary arguments  
claryfray: still a good s/o tho, 10/10  
would recommend, always supportive as far as i know  
magnuslightwoodbane: this is true  
aleclightwoodbane: uhh thank you ??  
isabellelightwood: i've matured enough to not be jealous  
aleclightwoodbane: have you though  
isabellelightwood: no, i am filled with envy whenever someone other than me complements clary  
isabellelightwood: or talks to her  
isabellelightwood: or looks at her  
isabellelightwood: or breathes in her general direction  
maiaroberts: damn  
isabellelightwood: the only times i'm not jealous is when we're alone and i'm not thinking of anyone interacting with her  
maiaroberts: i still don't understand why you'd be jealous of clary n alec have u seen how gay they are  
claryfray: being the magnus of the relationship comes with highly irrational jealously  
simonlewis: ok maybe jace is the magnus of the relationship but we both start stupid arguments  
maiaroberts: i once overheard them screaming at each other over jace taking simons last pizza piece  
magnuslightwoodbane: damn he's really stupid  
isabellelightwood: if clary stole a piece of my pizza she'd be sleeping on the couch for a week  
aleclightwoodbane: rt  
maiaroberts: ha no magnus would pout for .2 seconds and you'd forgive him and ask to cuddle  
aleclightwoodbane: fuck you  
maiaroberts: am i wrong  
aleclightwoodbane: no  
isabellelightwood: wow  
magnuslightwoodbane: ISABELLE  
isabellelightwood: whipped  
magnuslightwoodbane: i swear if you say that one more time  
isabellelightwood: you can't do shit to me you love alec too much  
magnuslightwoodbane: FUCK you're right  
simonlewis: y'all always say alec is whipped but magnus,,,  
aleclightwoodbane: be careful what you say next sherman  
simonlewis: my name is literally RIGHT THERE  
magnuslightwoodbane: alexander can you take the day off on your birthday  
aleclightwoodbane: ,,, why  
magnuslightwoodbane: because i want to spend the day with you obviously  
aleclightwoodbane: oh okay  
aleclightwoodbane: promise me no surprise parties  
magnuslightwoodbane: i promise  
maiaroberts: cue gross sobbing  
claryfray: ^  
simonlewis: ^  
jacelightwood: can yall stop acting like they’re promising to love each other forever, it’s just a surprise party  
magnuslightwoodbane: fuck off we’re adorable  
aleclightwoodbane: ^  
isabellelightwood: GUYS WE NEED TO HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY FOR MALEC  
claryfray: ON THE SAME DAY JIMON COME HOME  
magnuslightwoodbane: THATS TOMORROW  
isabellelightwood: I KNOW  
magnuslightwoodbane: WE’RE DOING IT  
simonlewis: may i ask how ???  
aleclightwoodbane: trust me magnus can do it  
maiaroberts: goals  
jacelightwood: i wish simon had that kind of faith in me  
simonlewis: i do babe !!!  
jacelightwood: simon cheated in scrabble so i could win  
simonlewis: NO I DIDNT  
claryfray: that’s sad  
magnuslightwoodbane: but cute  
aleclightwoodbane: clizzy have stormed the loft and they’re furiously planning  
maiaroberts: wait y’all have rings now right ??  
magnuslightwoodbane: ofc, i took him to a thousand ring shops yesterday  
aleclightwoodbane: ironically we ended up getting one in russia  
magnuslightwoodbane: we had to pose as best bros shopping for alecs hetero engagement  
maiaroberts: best bros  
simonlewis: close pals  
jacelightwood: good buddies  
maiaroberts: no homo mates  
magnuslightwoodbane: he was literally riding me last night, can’t get any closer than that  
aleclightwoodbane: MAGNUS  
jacelightwood: wait YOU WERE IN RUSSIA ??  
magnuslightwoodbane: only for an hour or so  
simonlewis: you didn’t tell us  
jacelightwood: betrayal  
aleclightwoodbane: oh fuck off  
claryfray: OK UPDATE  
isabellelightwood: PARTY IS TMRW AT 6PM-LATE AT MAGNUS’, DONT BRING FOOD, INVITE EVERYONE THEY LIKE, MAIA IS BARTENDING  
maiaroberts: niCE  
aleclightwoodbane: i will never understand how you do these things  
claryfray: things as in women?  
aleclightwoodbane: that too  
aleclightwoodbane: that wasn’t an actual invitation though pls don’t talk to me abt the straights  
simonlewis: *wipes tear from eye* i’m so proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy bi week!


	12. parT time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> truth or dare: shadowhunters edition

claryfray: the party is in 10 minutes where y’all @

jacelightwood: sorry we had to pick smth up

aleclightwoodbane: what is it

jacelightwood: nothing

aleclightwoodbane: ,,,

aleclightwoodbane: it’s a birthday present for me isn’t it

jacelightwood: no spoilers

aleclightwoodbane: jfc

claryfray: we’ll be there in 5 mins

claryfray: oh and happy birthday alec

aleclightwoodbane: thanks carrot

maiaroberts: iconic

maiaroberts: why has nobody else wished alec a happy bday in here

jacelightwood: NO SPOILERS

maiaroberts: o kay

simonlewis: we’re here

magnuslightwoodbane: FINALLY, AFTER CENTURIES

jacelightwood: we were 3 minutes late

magnuslightwoodbane: still

26/9/17 11:37pm

maiaroberts: for future reference in case everyone is too drunk to remember tmrw morning, alec just confessed to having a shrine to magnus in his institute closet

aleclightwoodbane: I HAD TO

aleclightwoodbane: he’s so pretty omg

magnuslightwoodbane: so r u bby

aleclightwoodbane: AND SEE HES SO NICE TOO

jacelightwood: four drink alec

claryfray: the sappy drunk

maiaroberts: the fact that alec is most active in here when he’s drunk says a lot

isabellelightwood: or if magnus is here

maiaroberts: that’s just because he’s whipped

aleclightwoodbane: haha that’s true

isabellelightwood: wow

claryfray: hes really drunk

simonlewis: clearly

aleclightwoodbane: GUYSWE SHOULD PLAY TRUTH OR DARE

maiaroberts: ok we’re playing irl but i’m gonna record everything that happens on here in case we’re all too wasted to remember

maiaroberts: clary just asked alec if he ever had wetdreams about jace growing up what a mood

maiaroberts: ALEC SAID YES HAHSHDJD

maiaroberts: magnus just dared jace to sleep in a room with a duck in it

maiaroberts: jace said fine, walked over to simon, sat in his lap and told him to carry him to the duck room

maiaroberts: i got the whole thing on tape

maiaroberts: simon and jace have gone to magnus’ guest room now, hopefully they’re sleeping

maiaroberts: magnus dared izzy to make out with clary but now they won’t stop ew

maiaroberts: alec threw his stele at them and they stopped

maiaroberts: clary asked izzy who she’d fuck other than her in the room and izzy said magnus

maiaroberts: alec asked magnus the same thing and he said izzy and they high fived, clary and alec are giving each other wtf, should i be scared looks now

maiaroberts: clary dared me to go outside and yell “i am a highly sexually active house plant” she’s really drunk

maiaroberts: update i did it

maiaroberts: magnus dared himself to stay in alecs lap for the rest of his life and alec grinned and said “pretty”

maiaroberts: it’s safe to say we’re all pretty drunk

maiaroberts: while izzy was asking clary if she’s ever touched a duck alec somehow managed to carry magnus to the couch and now they’re asleep, cuddling

maiaroberts: true to his reputation they moved around a lil and alec is now the little spoon

maiaroberts: jimon and malec are down, clizzy and i are still living

maiaroberts: nvm they’re just making out on the floor now, nothing can stop them

maiaroberts: u ppl are so whipped

27/09/17 10:38AM

maiaroberts: i woke up on the couch to see everyone asleep, clizzy were cuddling on the floor??

maiaroberts: why are y’all always cuddling

magnuslightwoodbane: cuddling is a way of life

aleclightwoodbane: the best way of life

claryfray: rt

isabellelightwood: magnus can i get some of that hangover remedy potion stuff

magnuslightwoodbane: anything for my future sister in law

jacelightwood: and your future brother in law

magnuslightwoodbane: no

jacelightwood: are you invalidating adoption

magnuslightwoodbane: no i’m saying i’m not giving you any of my hangover remedy

jacelightwood: FUCK

simonlewis: can i get some

magnuslightwoodbane: you’re just trying to get some for jace

simonlewis: what no

magnuslightwoodbane: vampires don’t even get hangovers shrimp

claryfray: did you just call him shrimp

aleclightwoodbane: DID YOU JUST INSULT MY HUSBAND

magnuslightwoodbane: babe we’re not even married yet

aleclightwoodbane: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my husband, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

claryfray: wow

magnuslightwoodbane: get you a boyfriend who can shoot 10 demons at once with 5 arrows, loves to cuddle and can defend your honour with memes

aleclightwoodbane: i love you

magnuslightwoodbane: i love you too

maiaroberts: you’re literally on top of him rn and you still feel the need to text

jacelightwood: were all in the same room this is kinda stupid

aleclightwoodbane: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my husband, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

jacelightwood: i-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it’s been ages since i updated i’m super duper sorry but school has been hell although i’m on holiday now so i should be more active! comments, prompts & kudos are always appreciated :)  
> ig: siredtofray


	13. lucifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jace is an uneducated fuck and clary is gay for maze from lucifer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is bad i’m sorry for not updating but UHH look forward to immortal husbands soon ;))

isabellelightwood: magnus have you seen lucifer??  
magnuslightwoodbane: i leave the interdimensional travel to the fey thanks  
isabellelightwood: no the tv show  
magnuslightwoodbane: o  
magnuslightwoodbane: i have not  
simonlewis: i love how that’s the first thing you think of  
claryfray: lucifer the tv show is really good though  
simonlewis: oh please  
simonlewis: you only watch it bc you think maze is hot  
claryfray: SHE IS  
aleclightwoodbane: thts gay  
claryfray: like u  
aleclightwoodbane: true  
magnuslightwoodbane: i can vouch for this  
jacelightwood: ^  
isabellelightwood: anyways magnus i wanna come over and make you watch it  
isabellelightwood: BUT  
aleclightwoodbane: iz  
isabellelightwood: alec comes home AFTER ME  
isabellelightwood: I ARRIVE  
isabellelightwood: FIRST  
aleclightwoodbane: we get off patrol at the same time??  
isabellelightwood: then we’re coming together  
aleclightwoodbane: o k  
isabellelightwood: AND NO RISKY BUSINESS  
simonlewis: risky business  
claryfray: isn’t izzy adorable  
simonlewis: yea  
claryfray: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY  
jacelightwood: NO WHAT DID YOU SAY DUDE  
claryfray: STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE  
jacelightwood: what  
claryfray: wait you weren’t recreating the vine??  
jacelightwood: what’s a vine  
simonlewis: excuse me  
claryfray: oh shit  
jacelightwood: ??  
simonlewis: clary we have to do something about this  
claryfray: jace when i get back to the institute simon and i will educate you fully on vines  
jacelightwood: o k ??  
simonlewis: i’m already starting the powerpoint  
maiaroberts: wow you’re really pulling out all the stops  
simonlewis: ITS VINE THIS IS IMPORTANT  
jacelightwood: alec im scared  
aleclightwoodbane: sorry jace this is necessary education   
claryfray: thank you tol one   
aleclightwoodbane: carrot  
maiaroberts: iconic  
simonlewis: JACE GET YOUR ASS TO CLARYS ROOM  
jacelightwood: NO IM SCARED  
simonlewis: i’ll be the big spoon tonight  
jacelightwood: i’m there  
aleclightwoodbane: ,,, whipped  
jacelightwood: you literally have magnus’ name in your user  
aleclightwoodbane: we’re ENGAGED  
jacelightwood: still :(


	14. “you all”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> malec are cute jimon are gross and alec hates simon what else is new

magnuslightwoodbane: OH MY GOD YALLLL  
isabellelightwood: WHAT  
maiaroberts: SPILL THE TEA  
magnuslightwoodbane: GUYSSS  
simonlewis: WHATTTISIT  
magnuslightwoodbane: DID YALL KNOW  
jacelightwood: oh for the love of god  
magnuslightwoodbane: THAT  
isabellelightwood: this is either a bi joke or alec appreciation, i’m down for both tbh  
magnuslightwoodbane: I REALLY FUCKING LOVE ALEXANDER GIDEON LIGHTWOOD  
aleclightwoodbane: aw i love you too <3  
isabellelightwood: sis  
isabellelightwood: WE BEEN KNEW  
claryfray: why is magnus only here when it concerns alec  
isabellelightwood: or me  
magnuslightwoodbane: that’s true  
aleclightwoodbane: thts adorable  
magnuslightwoodbane: guYS HE JUST CALLED ME ADORABLE  
jacelightwood: i have heard alec describe you with every positive adjective in the dictionary stop  
acting surprised  
magnuslightwoodbane: clizzy pls come over and help me plan, this wedding better be fucking soon  
aleclightwoodbane: ^^  
aleclightwoodbane: not the part abt planning i just wanna marry you  
as soon as possible  
jacelightwood: sorry alec i’m taken  
aleclightwoodbane: STOP FUCKING DOING THAT  
simonlewis: am i “that”  
aleclightwoodbane: that’s not what i meant but that too  
simonlewis: :(  
jacelightwood: rude  
aleclightwoodbane: fight me  
jacelightwood: sure  
aleclightwoodbane: wait what  
jacelightwood: lets fucking go  
aleclightwoodbane: i wasn’t even talking to you  
jacelightwood: i’m defending my bfs honour  
aleclightwoodbane: what honour  
maiaroberts: rt  
aleclightwoodbane: simon do you mind showing up shirtless halfway through me and jaces sparring match  
simonlewis: magnus is your boyfriend hitting on me  
magnuslightwoodbane: no you headass he wants you there to distract jace so he can win  
simonlewis: wait they’re actually gonna fight?  
magnuslightwoodbane: wow  
magnuslightwoodbane: you have the incredible talent of being absolutely oblivious to everything going on around you  
simonlewis: ,,,,  
simonlewis: you ain’t wrong  
claryfray: ok we’re gonna go do sum wedding planning  
magnuslightwoodbane: AYE thank you  
aleclightwoodbane: how soon can you make it?  
isabellelightwood: we can probably squeeze it into 4 months  
aleclightwoodbane: WHAT THE FUCK THATS TOO FAR AWAY  
magnuslightwoodbane: alexander that’s actually very short in terms of weddings  
aleclightwoodbane: can it be sooner??  
maiaroberts: alec is so whipped but not even in a bad way anymore  
aleclightwoodbane: anymore??  
jacelightwood: well  
isabellelightwood: i mean  
jacelightwood: there was a point in your relationship  
isabellelightwood: that could be loosely defined  
maiaroberts: as obsession  
aleclightwoodbane: what??? idk what you’re talking about  
claryfray: personally i don’t believe the obsession has died down  
aleclightwoodbane: if by obsession you mean love then no it hasn’t died down jfc  
isabellelightwood: how’s that magnus shrine in your closet looking  
aleclightwoodbane: oh fuck off  
magnuslightwoodbane: i think it’s cute, leave him alone  
aleclightwoodbane: did magnus just call me cute akdjdjfjd  
jacelightwood: you two are so sappy you make me sick  
simonlewis: just letting y’all know jace is a hypocrite who loves to cuddle and brought me flowers yesterday for literally no reason  
jacelightwood: SIMON  
claryfray: awhh  
magnuslightwoodbane: that’s kinda cute  
jacelightwood: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME  
simonlewis: :)  
jacelightwood: baetrayal  
maiaroberts: stop  
isabellelightwood: ^  
jacelightwood: cuddle privileges gone >:(  
simonlewis: WHAT NO  
jacelightwood: FOR A WEEK  
aleclightwoodbane: he’s gonna last like 5 minutes  
simonlewis: JACE BABY PLEASE  
claryfray: ew did you just call jace baby  
aleclightwoodbane: gross  
magnuslightwoodbane: you call me babe all the time ???  
aleclightwoodbane: theyre still gross  
maiaroberts: alec throwing shade at jimon will always be my aesthetic  
isabellelightwood: same  
maiaroberts: no get ur own aesthetic  
claryfray: ok alec we might be able to push it to three months but we’re really pushing it so it will be small and simple  
aleclightwoodbane: still too long but ok  
simonlewis: he’s pregnant???  
claryfray: ,,,,  
claryfray: i meant the wedding  
isabellelightwood: KCMFND  
magnuslightwoodbane: that’s??? impossible???  
aleclightwoodbane: why are y’all so convinced we can make babies  
isabellelightwood: i mean if it were possible your children would be adorable  
jacelightwood: please stop  
aleclightwoodbane: ^  
maiaroberts: so y’all don’t want kids?  
magnuslightwoodbane: we didn’t say that  
aleclightwoodbane: ^  
isabellelightwood: OH MY GOD  
isabellelightwood: ADOPT ME  
magnuslightwoodbane: you’re 19???  
isabellelightwood: pls  
aleclightwoodbane: jfc  
-  
jacelightwood: HAHAHHA I LOVE THE SWEET SMELL OF SUPERIORITY IN THE EVENING  
claryfray: what  
isabellelightwood: alec and jace were sparring and alec was winning so magnus came in to watch but he was wearing this shirt that was very revealing and while alec was gaping at him jace knocked him over  
magnuslightwoodbane: i was just coming to watch  
magnuslightwoodbane: it’s not my fault i’m gorgeous  
isabellelightwood: KFJFMF  
isabellelightwood: put that on my tombstone pls  
claryfray: no you’re never dying  
magnuslightwoodbane: goals  
aleclightwoodbane: magnus,,,,  
magnuslightwoodbane: good point  
maiaroberts: why are werewolves the only downworlders that are mortal  
simonlewis: cause we’re cool  
magnuslightwoodbane: damn right  
maiaroberts: did you just,,, agree with simon?  
magnuslightwoodbane: TEAM WEREWOLF  
maiaroberts: HHDHD  
claryfray: simon are your cuddle privileges still gone  
simonlewis: nah they were pretty easy to get back  
jacelightwood: doesn’t matter anyway cause i don’t cuddle  
simonlewis: he was the big spoon last night, it was rlly nice  
jacelightwood: SIMOB WHY  
maiaroberts: simob  
magnuslightwoodbane: simob  
aleclightwoodbane: simob  
isabellelightwood: simob  
claryfray: simob  
jacelightwood: why do you all hate me so much  
maiaroberts: because you do shit like saying “you all” instead of “yall”  
jacelightwood: thats,,,  
jacelightwood: that’s justified

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!! this is completely and utterly 100% inspired by garroways thank you aleks. anyways let me knwo if i should update or if im just wasting my time lmao also should i add maia next chapter?


End file.
